"we will snip fresh mint" or on hospitality

the venerable poet naomi shihab nye really floats my boat.

here's a poem i fell into tonight while i waited for an event to begin at busboys and poets.

Red Brocade

The Arabs used to say,
When a stranger appears at your door,
feed him for three days
before asking who he is,
where he's come from,
where he's headed.
That way, he'll have strength
enough to answer.
Or, by then you'll be
such good friends
you don't care.

Let's go back to that.
Rice? Pine nuts?
Here, take the red brocade pillow.
My child will serve water
to your horse.

No, I was not busy when you came!
I was not preparing to be busy.
That's the armor everyone puts on
to pretend they had a purpose
in the world.

I refuse to be claimed.
Your plate is waiting.
We will snip fresh mint
into your tea.

my mother and father taught me by example how to be a good host. their entertaining acumen and general generosity were exercised in force this weekend. frankly, i am still too exhausted to explain all of what went down, but largely due to the force of my mother's personality and graciousness, dozens + dozens of people assembled to visit this weekend in honor of my aunt beth and her four children who were in baltimore for the first time since my grandmother died in december 1995. (my mom and dad, and i (separately) have been out to see them at their home in the hoffman estates, illinois. or, in my case, at restaurants in the chicagoland area.)

some of the people who came were great aunts and uncles; second, third and fourth cousins; neighbors from 1940s childhood; a british warbride + her husband; all kinds of step and "play" relations. even some born-again christians enjoyed themselves (until i went and mentioned stephen colbert) -- my family is just that inclusive.

i overuse this word, but really it was grand.

i am exhausted. upon my return to georgetown, i imposed about 23 hours of silence on myself after tasty dropped me off at mindy + mary's but the weekend was really such fun.

on saturday, after a hot morning and early afternoon of running between errands, finding my flow with debra, a quick bite, and leafleting with sinead and amy for speakeasyDC at midcity dog days, casey drove me to patrick and tracy's house where we had steamed crabs and drank a lot of cans of beer. as a special bonus, mike + barb, and sinead came along as well. (i now can't recall how i wrangled this invitation, but i am glad for it because it was important to me to have some of my dear friends meet my cousins and extended family. jbw has been subjected to this before once during a holiday. so has bird. and i think that shelley has seen some of it. and so has karen, of course, but she's not into neuroticah.)

on sunday, my parents hosted i don't know, maybe 125-150 people in their home and outside on their lawn and deck and beyond. it was a real quinn-jones-arthur-parr family throwdown. seriously, my second (or maybe third?; twice removed?) cousins who live in hawaii came. and they weren't even bewildered by all of it.

it is sort of unimaginable to me how everyone fit in the house and on my parents tiny parcel of suburbia, but it worked out very well. my mother's only discernible disappointment stemmed from the fact that she ordered about 20 gallons of shrimp filled-macaroni salad and miss bird didn't come. but it still got eaten. no worries, melissa.

at one point, during all of the cacophony, my nephew riley went to my dad and reported: "pappy, there's a fly in the house."

so, there were many flies and some many more red brocade pillows.

even though i am cranky as all hell right now and feeling very glum, i can see the beauty in this weekend.