black and burley

i cannot even begin to approximate the peals of laughter issued from my own self as i read aloud the names of various tobacco mixes perched behind the counter tonight at karen's walgreen's. no seriously: black and burley. you want me to put that in my mouth and smoke it? really? no, really? she had to check me as i carried on. and on. and on.

perhaps it was the train ride that amped me up? perhaps it was turning 37? perhaps it was the kerfuffle i initiated in the college in the past 29+ hours about our major conference to be held in january? perhaps it was the totally fab discussion today in my neighborhood planning class this afternoon? a class that, in fact, redeemed the day + week + my very presence in TCAUP. i began the lecture worried that i was way off my game, announcing to them that i was not my ideal self because i was distracted by some problems within the college. we wound up in a totally transformative moment where even i almost believed that the revolution could begin. on a late wednesday afternoon before thanksgiving.


the mind reels. much madness in the college today. so much so that i couldn't concentrate for hours. i so totally grabbed a stack of CDs and DVDs and sealed myself into a classroom to avoid human contact.

i am learning from senior women and my colleague/confidante, despina. what a gift she has been to me this year -- sent right from the BVM or some other empowered and great, dead woman to set me on the path of righteousness. i likely would have taken the same principled positions without despina here, but it is easier to have the support and ideas of another junior woman who will make claims.

i can fill you in with all or some of the excruciating details off blog, but suffice it to say...women and people of color need to work hard to make their concerns heard in an institution and profession that is dominated by white men. it's a mess really. only one half step better than he conditions judith described about her days at yale. i usually say that the stakes are so low in the academy that this sort of upset isn't worth it. but, this time, it is in fact so very worth it. i am stunned at all of the work that needs to happen. it's shocking really.

and i haven't even begun to type about the reasons why julia and joan cannot come to the april fools' day parade in ann arbor. but i was left to wonder today after joan's phone call whether she and sir christopher haven't conceived of a little gift for me that i need to wait until may to have. wink wink nudge nudge.

and speaking of gifts.... thanks daddy for the crane wife.


if only.