pray the rosary

i reviewed my (scholarly as opposed to droll) writing today and decided to take a break to see breach. initially, i was disinclined to go because it stars ryan philippe and i am on reese's side in their divorce...although evidently both my mother and eddie think that there are two sides to every story. i was a little worried about seeing it because i feared that it might make catholics look even kookier than we are. anyway, it was a good movie. chris cooper and laura linney were great. and it was great to see laura linney in a movie where she wasn't focused on some dying troubled sibling. (i wonder what my father thought of breach, but if he has an opinion, he probably wouldn't be allowed to tell me).

so readers who are real people, not imaginary friends like my mother always intimates when i discuss my reading public with her...here are some of my thoughts at present about the end of the world as we know it.

1. i love me some al sharpton. i have not seen his face, hair or suit, only heard his voice, about this latest news about his family tree. i only wish that skip gates could have been able to gush all over this reveal on camera during african american lives, the program shelley and marsha hooked me up with last year as a consultant. it is further evidence of the end of days. al + strom related. of course they are.
   
2. every time i hear the words: anna. nicole. smith. i want to choke and spit back: we. at. war.
3. who is the art curator who has a ph.d. who was excused from the libby trial? i love the detail about how said curator refused to wear the valentine-themed tee shirt on february 14. i know that i know someone who knows who this is. nina totenberg's voice is cackling with delight over this intellectual.
   
4. but, dear friends, here is what you really want to know: my general observations on oscars.
1. if lisa ling falls in a forest of journalists, will anyone care? from channel one to the red carpet? dear me.
   
2. joan rivers actually was very good during her interviews with people on the tv guide channel, but of course, i miss my girl kathy griffin. i so loathe ryan seacrest. precisely at what age was his development arrested?
   
3. guiliana depandi and jay from ANTM redeemed e!'s coverage. they were a funny duo with their glam-astrations.
   
4. i loved loved loved it when rivers said to meryl streep -- so 14 nominations, and streep replied yep...and i'm a size 14. loved it in real time; loved it on replay on the view today. and all i can say about the view, bullshit rosie was snowed in with kelly and the kids. what is wrong with me but i actually liked the young one today, elisabeth filarski.
   
5. i liked nicole kidman's dress, but i worried that keith wasn't at her side on the carpet. she and naomi watts sure seem like good friends and i like that very much. keith was at nicole's side later during the show. i bet miss bird thinks that he was backstage doing lines and sms'ing some tart?
6. i liked the front and back of mrs. whitaker's dress.
7. i liked jennifer hudson's brown dress with pockets, but not so much the bolero
8. i have forgiven penelope cruz for dating tom cruise. she looked very beautiful.
9. gwyneth paltrow is a stuck up bitch, but she looked pretty in that dress. i only wished that she didn't insist on sweeping her hair to the side.
10. i did not care for cameron diaz's white envelope, kirsten dunst's grey little number, and sally kirklan's caftan.
11. maggie gyllenhaal and peter sarsgaard are okay in my book.
    
12. jennifer lopez's dress would have been fine in half -- it was two sides too much.
13. helen mirren: great looking.
14. reese witherspoon is entirely too skinny. george clooney needs to make her a burger and serve it up on a sesame seed bun.
15. i so adore jack black and have come around to will ferrell.
16. i thought ellen did just fine.
    
17. pilobolus and the sound effects chorale were the very best features of the whole night. aside from the salmon i made and the naia wine that one of my sommelier at morgan and york commended to me.