my m.o.

there are a lot of messed up things about this institution. some big ones...i.e. the way my harassment case against the IT man was handled; the one floor of library books; and on. there are also a lot of good things about the place. principally, i really really like the students. they are mostly my people...white kids with straight teeth, clear skin, privilege, and hope + promise. they are so earnest and smart.

we had an early morning meeting with the dean that didn't go well. it was taxing and infuriating. (the director who recruited me to come here resigned recently and we are leaderless.) it is unclear how things will organize themselves now. our faculty invited the dean to come along to learn about her plans for our program and its direction. i kept up my familiar custom of talking back and asking questions and advocating for myself and others. i also tried to defend my senior colleagues whom she dressed down in front of all of us. i actually said near the end...i understand that you want to have the last word, but i want to wrestle you for it. and i carried on.

at an earlier moment, i announced that i am the first born daughter of a first born daughter or a first born daughter and i can fend for myself. she is a psychologist and as she addressed the actions of one of the senior women, she referred to the mythic miami family and birth order behavior as she explained (and dismissed) peggy's actions as being characteristic of an oldest daughter.


when i got to my 11:00 class, i sensed that i am losing them and i needed to desperately reel them back. so i threw down the gauntlet and asked them to take out a blank sheet of paper to answer a few questions about the readings. all but two came up empty. i should have made like sr. margaret claydon and left the room with a flourish. instead, i worked with a few ideas for a while. and then i closed the door and tucked in my shirt. i proceeded to do a yoga headstand in front of them at the blackboard. i climbed down and explained. i will do this everyday if it will allow us to have a proper conversation, but you need to work too. and your work means reading. see you on friday.

they were stunned.

in the later class, i played dylan's shelter from the storm. and then the sun came out.