feels like 108 now

by the time i went to yoga last night, my body really felt the 108 sun salutations from the day before.

i learned that the man whom i filed the sexual harassment case against was found guilty of the criminal charges he faced including receiving stolen goods, breaking and entering, theft (of undergarments) and is this a crime? installing spyware on young women's computers. since my exchanges with him were about my computer set-up -- i wonder whether he has been following my keystrokes here? ( i will have it swept to be safe.)

but seeing the news article and hearing the radio piece brings up all that crummy stuff from the beginning of last year and how the institution messed up and how my colleagues' actions were really a disappointment.

i booked my ticket for ABQ in the middle of october and then i go to LA next week. i have really concentrated on staying here and focussing on oxford. i have been here one solid month +/- with no trips to indy or columbus or anything. just here in butler county except when i drove to richmond and liberty in search of flashlights and emergency provisions last week.

i keep looking around here and trying to imagine whether and where i could afford to buy a house and whether and when that would be appropriate. i am sort of down on my loft because the scale is just too big. and two bats is two too many. and i realized last week when i was camping in here that it really feels like camping in here all the time. and i keep it tidy, but it has 100 years of industrial dirt in here. i need to stick it out for the rest of this year, but where is the place for me. in search of a domicile and in search of a home.

i have been ruminating on this and dwelling on a whole mess of negative thinking lately. last night, in yoga, on the mat, while everyone else was working on headstand prep, dolphin and inversions, and i just started weeping. i wasn't sure if i could get it together. i knew for sure i could invert, but could i stop? eventually, i did. but dear me.

dear me.

p.s. i would like to live in michael kors apartment in the village as featured in in style this month.